Category Archives: Second Marriage

A New Beginning

A New Beginning 

I had been divorced about seven months when I was given an ointment from my dermatologist to treat a mild itch on my back.  Realizing I could not apply it to my back myself, I began to think I should maybe meet someone who could. I was divorced, but I did not believe in divorce.  My father died when I was only seven, and I did not want my kids to grow up without a father.  I also did not want to have some other guy raising my kids.  I was still an emotional wreck from my failed marriage and had minimized my involvement with people since then. I had never been able to share my emotions with another person, and I did not know why I would ever want to, but I needed a friend and someone to love.  Since my divorce, I had focused on healing mentally and physically, but primarily only my physical health.  I was either working out at the gym or taking long bike rides almost every day and trying to eat healthy food.  I finally worked up enough courage to try and meet someone.  

I was not into the bar scene, and church was the only place I really had contact with people.  I had not been attending my ward long enough to distinguish between women who were sitting alone because they were single and those who were sitting alone because their husbands were “on the stand.” I had also never been in the habit of looking for wedding rings, so I signed up with an Internet dating service called LDS Mingle.  The site matched my criteria with potential candidates whose criteria matched mine.  My profile was then sent to the potential candidates, and whoever was interested in me could respond.  There were several responses from all over the country and Canada, but one from an attractive woman who also lived in Sandy caught my eye.  I responded back, saying we had a lot in common and should possibly meet.

The next Sunday, I went to church with female companionship on my mind.  I was still attending the same ward I attended before my divorce, but my ex-wife had gone inactive so there did not seem to be a problem, and I had only been attending that ward for about a year before we split anyway.  That day I took notice of the organist.   I had never really noticed her before, probably because I had not been looking before.  I thought she was pretty cute except for the funny glasses she was wearing.  That same afternoon, after church, I got an email response from the woman I had responded to on the Internet.  She said, “We do have a lot in common, more than just interests and outlook.  In fact, I saw you at church today. I was playing the organ.  I looked up and saw you in the congregation.  I couldn’t believe it! I would love to chat with you. We can do it by e-mail or I’m on the ward list.  Hope to talk to you soon.”  I replied six minutes later saying, “Oh my gosh, I saw you playing the organ.  I was even thinking about you and how attractive you were.  I definitely think we should meet.”  It seemed surprising that of all the candidates from the Internet site, I would meet someone in my same ward.

I called her immediately and we arranged to meet for lunch at Market Street Grill the next day.  We had a great conversation over lunch about life, kids, and divorce, and I took in her beautiful eyes, her smile, her wit, and her cleavage. I already knew she had great legs because one of her profile pictures on LDS Mingle showed her in a tennis outfit, and her legs were the first thing that drew my attention to her.  We ate salads and I left my avocados on my plate.  She told me later that she loved avocados and really wanted mine, but she did not yet feel comfortable enough with me to ask for them.  I felt some definite electricity between us when I put my hand on her back as I walked her to her car, and she reached around and put her hand on my back, as well.

Janeen had a pool in her back yard, and she asked me to come to her house the next Wednesday for a swim. When I arrived at her home on Wednesday evening, there were several other people at her home including her daughter who lived there, her married son, his wife, and his wife’s father.  The daughter was in the house and the rest were sitting in the hot tub as Janeen and I got into the pool.  I do believe they were there to check me out and possibly to protect their mother in case I turned out to be the king of creep. We talked for a while and then, as we hung on the side in the deep end, I said, “I want to do something.”   I leaned over, pulled her in close, and kissed her long and hard on the lips.  Speaking of hard, she could tell from my swimming suit that I was attracted to her.  She could not wait to tell all her single girlfriends about it the next day.

We got together several times a week after that, either for lunch, dinner, or hanging out in my apartment.  Her daughter living with her made my place more private.  There was one evening when she came over, and after we had been kissing on my bed, I reached over her and turned on the stereo.  I had Johnny Mathis ready to go (I knew she loved Johnny Mathis). She got up, went into the kitchen and without saying anything, grabbed a banana from a fruit bowl.  She seductively peeled it and slowly put the banana into her mouth, bit off a little in a very sensual way put the other half in my mouth.  I was so aroused that I wanted to hold her and never let go.  I was hooked, in love, and in her house a few months later, I said, “Why don’t we get married.”  There was no ring, no kneeling, just an idea for consideration.  She thought it was a good idea and did not say no, so did that make us engaged?  I guess so.