Lunch With Mom
If I had the chance to enjoy a casual lunch with anyone, living or dead, I would choose my mother. She died about 14 years ago, and more than anyone else who has passed on, I miss her love and advice the most. I always knew she loved me, and no matter what, as long as she was alive, there was always a place I could go and be safe and loved.
This is how I think it would go.
“Hi, Mom; boy you look great. I love you, Mom, and I really miss having you nearby. You look just like I remember you when I was little.”
“Yes,” she said, “I love you too, and the wrinkles, the bad back, the aches and pains, and the failing organs are all gone.”
I said, “Now I am the old one here. I have inherited your aches, pains, and wrinkles.”
She said, “Yes, but don’t worry; they are only temporary.”
“Are you living with Dad?“ I asked.
“Yes,” she replied. “We live together in a beautiful home, and he sends his love.”
“What about Bart (my step father)?” I said.
She said, “He is with us and sends his love, too.”
“I always thought you had a pretty tough life,” I said. “You buried two husbands, and you were plagued with health problems, but it does not look too bad in comparison to my life. I guess I have really screwed things up, haven’t I? If we learn from our mistakes, well, I guess I have an advanced degree.”
She said, “You have made some big mistakes, but you are on the right track now, and yes, you have learned a lot.“
I said, “I almost joined you prematurely a few times, but now I am not ready to join you just yet.”
She replied, ”It was touch-and-go there for a while, but you got the help you needed at the time, and you still have a lot of work to do; but keep going the way you are going, and you will be fine. “
I said, “Yes, I am doing much better since I married Janeen. She was a lifesaver.“
She said, “Yes, she is. There are a lot of people who love you and are looking out for you.”
I said, “Do you mean she was not just an accident?
” She said, “You asked for help and you got it. She was just what you needed at the time, and she was looking for someone like you, too, so it was a match made in heaven.”
I said, “Oh, that’s good. You always liked a good pun.”
I said, “ I ask for a lot of things that I don’t get, like a relationship with my kids; what about that?”
She said, “They make their own decisions. It is hard for them, too. They need to want a relationship with you bad enough to fight for it. They will come around in time. You need to be patient. They will always be your kids. No one can take that away from you.”
“So, what do you do now besides look out for your kids?”
She replied, “What! You don’t think that is a full-time job?”
I said, “If they all need as much help as I do, then yes, it just may be.”
She went on, “We do a lot of things that you may not understand or appreciate. The things you need and work for are plentiful here. We don’t worry about food; we all have lovely homes; transportation is not a problem; if we want to be somewhere, we are there. There is no limit to time. As a matter of fact, we don’t see time like you do. We have already died, and we will never do that again. We will never grow old. We continue to learn, to love, and build relationships with others. There are more ways we can continue to improve and grow in experience and intelligence.”
I asked, “Do you sing much?”
She replied, “Yes, your father and I have some special musical talents, and we are called on to sing quite often. Bart sings with us sometimes, too. You have some talent there, too. I wish you would have sung more.”
I replied, “I was always intimidated and not confident enough to sing, but I wish I had overcome that long ago. I would like to have put music higher in my priorities.”
I asked, “What about your parents, Muzz (my mother’s mother) and her husband?”
She said, “They are all here, and Rays’ parents, too, and their parents, and their parents. It goes on and on. You have done enough genealogy work that you should have an idea of who I am talking about.”
“Yes,” I said, “I enjoyed putting that book together on Grandma and Grandpa Halverson and their ancestors. I would like to do one on your side of the family, too.”
She said, “Yes, that would be good. There is a lot of material to work with. That Halverson book was wonderful. It meant a lot to a lot of people. You should keep at it. You have experiences of your own that would benefit many people. So, keep writing about your life, your loves, your achievements, and your mistakes. People will love you for it. I will love you for it.”
“Mom,” I said, “This has been so wonderful to have had this discussion with you. It has meant more to me than you could ever imagine. It is like you are still there for me giving me the love and counsel I did not think I would ever have again.”
She replied, “I will always be here for you. I have always been here for you. You are my son and always will be, just like Amy, Jason, Julie, and Michael are your children and always will be. You just need to have faith, patience, see it through to the end, and never give up.“
I asked, “Mom, what advice can you give me. What should I do now?”
She replied, “You know what to do; follow your heart and stand up for what you believe without concern of what others may think. Don’t let anyone tell you what you believe in your heart is not right. That does not mean you should stop learning through studying and through making more mistakes. You will never know everything, and you will never be perfect. You should just keep making corrections and listening to your conscience. You still have a lot of years left in your mortal life. Enjoy what you have and share your love with those around you. You will be surprised at how many people love you and look up to you.”
I said, “We have not even ordered anything to eat yet.”
“That’s okay,” she said. I don’t need to eat. I am more interested in talking to you. You go ahead and eat, but watch the cholesterol.”
I finished with, “Thanks Mom, I love you.”
She said, “I love you, too.” Then she left.